MANAGING STRESS TO PROMOTE HARMONY IN MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP
By Eme Arthur – Oso
In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable part of our lives. Yet, as much as it’s unavoidable, we have the power to manage it—and in doing so, we can promote the values that truly matter, especially within the family. As Prof. Comfort Ekpo outlines, the key to effective stress management lies not only in our ability to cope with stress but in how we nurture our relationships and promote values grounded in faith, love, and purpose.
The Power of Faith in Stress Management
One of the first steps in managing stress, especially within the family context, is to nurture our foundation with the word of God. Scriptures like Matthew 6:25-26 remind us that worry and anxiety have no place in our lives because God is in control of everything. His guidance is a constant source of strength, teaching us that no matter what we face, we are never truly alone.
Proverbs 31 and 14:1 also highlight the wisdom and strength that women bring to the home, especially in the midst of stress. These verses remind us that women possess unique abilities to build and maintain a home, even in challenging times. The family is built on a foundation of love, faith, and strength—and it’s through these principles that we can overcome the challenges stress throws our way.
Stress and Control: Overcoming Fear
Stress often stems from the feeling that we have no control over our lives. When this happens, fear takes over. Fear of failure, fear of not measuring up, or fear of not being able to meet expectations—these fears can paralyze us. However, the Bible repeatedly encourages us to “fear not,” because God has everything under control (Deuteronomy 20:1).
Fear often arises from what we see societal expectations, public perception, or overwhelming responsibilities. But God calls us to see beyond these temporary obstacles.
Our ability to manage stress is intricately linked to how we perceive our situations. Are we letting the weight of societal pressure dictate how we feel, or are we leaning on the unshakable truth that God has already equipped us with what we need to succeed?
The Different Faces of Stress
Stress is not always negative. In fact, there is such a thing as “positive stress”—the kind that drives us toward our goals and helps us achieve what we set out to do. Take Esther, for instance. She took on the mantle of responsibility with courage, as instructed by her uncle, to approach the king with a life-or-death request for her people. She was under immense pressure, but she embraced the stress of the situation because it was tied to a noble cause. Similarly, Nehemiah faced opposition in his quest to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, but he overcame it with faith, strategic thinking, and perseverance.
Positive stress, when managed properly, helps us meet deadlines, achieve our goals, and stay focused on what matters most. It pushes us to prioritize, to make hard decisions, and to stay true to our purpose.
However, not all stress is beneficial. Negative stress, which is fueled by fear and uncertainty, can drain our energy and creativity.
This kind of stress affects our cognitive abilities, clouds our judgment, and creates a cycle of anxiety that harms our health. Over time, this negative stress can manifest physically, leading to conditions such as high blood pressure, memory loss, depression, and even premature aging.
The Hidden Dangers of Stress
Stress overload can wreak havoc on both our mental and physical health. The body releases stress hormones, such as cortisol, which, when continuously elevated, can deteriorate the body’s systems, leading to immune dysfunction and increased vulnerability to diseases.
Long-term exposure to stress can leave us feeling disconnected from our loved ones, distracted, or exhausted. It’s easy to become frustrated, short-tempered, or overly critical of ourselves and others, especially when we feel like we’re not measuring up.
Our ability to handle stress also depends on our emotional and social resources. Lack of family support, poor time management, and a low sense of self-worth all contribute to stress vulnerability. When we don’t have the tools or the mindset to cope, stress can become overwhelming.
Practical Solutions for Stress Management
The good news is that stress is manageable. There are practical steps we can take to reduce its impact and promote healthier family dynamics:
Encourage Yourself: Remember that you are doing the best you can. Acknowledge your progress, and celebrate your small victories. Self-encouragement and positive affirmations are essential to maintaining a sense of peace amidst challenges.
Engage in Praise and Worship: In moments of stress, turn to God for peace and strength. Praise and worship are powerful ways to reconnect with God and center yourself. When you surrender your worries to Him, you invite His peace into your life.
Relax and Laugh: Laughter is not just a natural stress reliever; it is a form of therapy. Laughter can reduce stress hormones, lower blood pressure, and improve mood. So, take time to enjoy the lighter moments in life, and surround yourself with those who bring joy and laughter.
Prioritize Your Time: Time management is crucial to reducing stress. Learn to prioritize your tasks and say no when necessary. Effective time management helps prevent feelings of being overwhelmed and ensures you are dedicating your time and energy to what truly matters.
Seek Family Support: One of the most significant buffers against stress is a supportive family environment. Take time to connect with your loved ones, share your burdens, and lean on each other. A family that prays together, communicates openly, and supports each other is a source of strength in times of stress.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your body and mind. Get enough rest, eat well, and engage in physical activities that relax and rejuvenate you. Your health is the foundation on which everything else is built.
A Call to Action
As we navigate the stresses of daily life, let us remember that the true purpose of managing stress is not simply to survive, but to thrive in our relationships and in our values. By nurturing our homes with faith, love, and time management, we can overcome the challenges that life throws at us. We can raise families that are resilient, grounded in God’s word, and capable of weathering any storm.
Stress is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to control us. By promoting family values and trusting in God’s guidance, we can find peace in the midst of chaos and purpose in the midst of pressure. So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s timing, and remember: you are not alone.
ENDING STRONG
How To Close The Year With Clarity, Gratitude And Achievement
As the year draws to a close, many people find themselves reflecting on the months gone by—analyzing successes and failures, contemplating lessons learned, and considering the journey ahead. For some, this can be a time of regret or uncertainty.
Yet, the closing of a year is also an opportunity to end strong, to finish with clarity, gratitude, and a sense of accomplishment. In Ecclesiastes 7:8, it is written, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” This verse offers a profound reminder that how we close something—whether a year, a project, or a season of life—can be far more significant than how we began.
As you approach the end of the year, here are some powerful ways to ensure you close it in a way that sets you up for future success and peace of mind.
Reflect with Clarity
To end the year strong, it’s essential to gain clarity on where you’ve been and where you want to go. Reflection allows you to understand what has worked, what hasn’t, and what you want to carry forward.
Start by reviewing the year. What goals did you set at the beginning? What did you achieve, and what might you have missed? Try to view these answers without judgment—look at them through the lens of learning rather than success or failure.
This mindset fosters a sense of clarity that will help you close out the year with a deeper understanding of your journey.
Next, reflect on the things that brought you joy, fulfillment, and growth. Was it a new project, a relationship, or perhaps a personal development goal you achieved? Take stock of your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Ecclesiastes 7:8 reminds us that patience is key; sometimes, true growth only becomes apparent when we take a step back and reflect.
Cultivate Gratitude: Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools to end the year on a positive note. It shifts your focus from what was lacking or unsatisfactory to what has been good and enriching. Practicing gratitude doesn’t just enhance your emotional well-being—it also positions you to appreciate the progress you’ve made and to honor the lessons of the year.
To cultivate gratitude, make a list of people, experiences, or moments that have made a difference in your life. Thank the individuals who have supported you, and acknowledge the things that have contributed to your growth. Gratitude helps you move from an attitude of lack to one of abundance, creating a strong foundation for a positive new year.
One powerful practice of gratitude is to write a letter—either to yourself or to someone who impacted your year. Express what you learned and how you grew because of their presence in your life. This simple yet profound act can bring closure to the year and open your heart to new possibilities.
Celebrate Your Achievements
It’s easy to focus on what you didn’t accomplish or the challenges you faced. But part of closing the year with strength is celebrating what you did achieve. Achievement doesn’t always mean reaching every goal; sometimes, it’s about the progress made despite obstacles.
Take a moment to celebrate the milestones, big and small. Perhaps you completed a personal project, maintained good health, or forged meaningful relationships. Each achievement is a testament to your perseverance, and acknowledging them can help you end the year with a sense of accomplishment.
Ecclesiastes 7:8’s wisdom reminds us that the end of a matter is more important than its beginning.
Acknowledging your achievements at the end of the year serves as a reminder that success is often not about how fast you start, but how well you finish. Ending the year strong doesn’t mean perfection—it means making peace with where you are and celebrating the progress you’ve made.
Let Go of Regret and Unfinished Business
As you reflect, it’s natural to encounter regret or disappointment about unmet expectations. However, carrying this emotional baggage into the new year can prevent you from moving forward with purpose. To end strong, it’s important to release the things that no longer serve you.
Think about any lingering grudges, regrets, or unresolved issues. Forgiveness—whether of others or yourself—can free you to start the next year with a clean slate. Recognizing that not everything will be resolved by the year’s end is part of embracing the reality of life’s ebb and flow. By letting go, you allow room for growth, new possibilities, and peace.
Set Intentions for the Future
The end of the year is a perfect time to set your intentions for the upcoming year. While New Year’s resolutions can sometimes feel daunting or overly ambitious, setting clear, achievable goals helps you move forward with purpose and confidence.
Take the lessons and experiences of the current year and use them as stepping stones for next year. Consider what you learned about yourself and how you can apply that wisdom to new endeavors. Whether it’s professional growth, personal development, or nurturing relationships, clarity on your goals and the steps to achieve them will give you a sense of direction and focus as you enter the new year.
Embrace Patience and Trust the Process
Ecclesiastes 7:8 also emphasizes the importance of patience. Often, we can become frustrated if things don’t go as planned or if progress seems slow. However, patience allows us to trust the process and understand that growth often happens in unseen ways. As you approach the end of the year, take a deep breath and remind yourself that things may not always unfold according to your timeline, but they are unfolding in their own perfect timing.
By practicing patience, you free yourself from unrealistic expectations and create space for grace to guide you into the new year. Trust that the seeds you’ve planted this year—through hard work, faith, and perseverance—will bear fruit in their own time.
Conclusion: Ending the year strong is not about perfection—it’s about finishing with clarity, gratitude, and achievement, while also acknowledging areas for growth and learning. By taking the time to reflect on what worked, what you’re grateful for, and what you’ve accomplished, you can close the year with a sense of peace and purpose.
As Ecclesiastes 7:8 teaches, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning.” How we finish matters, and by embracing the wisdom of this verse, we can ensure that we close the year with intention, positivity, and the knowledge that we’ve given our best. And as we do so, we prepare ourselves for a new year filled with even greater opportunities for growth, success, and fulfillment.
